The Wrong Kind.

     We were outside, in the more isolated part of the park. We were sitting on a bench, close to each other. It was cold. Not freezing, just cold enough for me to crawl back in your arms and stay there. You were stroking my hair lazily from time to time, eyes closed and lips slightly parted. My head was on your shoulder, but I could still notice your peaceful expression. I was the only one who could understand you, get your ways and read the truth hidden in your lies. And although our relationship was as real as possible, your official girlfriend was too. So we had to sneak out at night and meet in such places, where no one could ever find us or hear our whispers. This was like the opposite of everything that I had ever wanted to be. I used to be loyal, wanting a real boyfriend, that I would never cheat on. I used to care for the feelings of those around me, but you were just too much for me to handle. I could not act like I didn’t hear the deafening sounds of my heartbeats. I could not act like I didn’t notice your smirks and slight touches that were known only by us. I didn’t know whether you loved me or not, but just for a few minutes every night, it was enough what you had shown me. I knew you were a womanizer, the worst of all. Most of the time you didn’t care. You were so in love with yourself and with the way women were falling at your feet, that you could not just keep only one relationship going.

     You looked down at me and smiled. “I’ve always liked it here. It’s so quiet” you said staring back up at the sky. It was full of stars that night. I could’ve made thousands of wishes if I’d wanted to, but none passed through my mind. I had you there and it was all that  mattered. You pulled out your phone and searched for something and pressed play. I felt like crying, but struggled not to. I hated you and loved you at the same time and sometimes it hurt so much, but other times it was like all my dreams had come to life. You were teasing me all the time and every now and then you were way too intimidating and I’d lie if I said I did not enjoy that fire in your eyes.

     You leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips. Chaste, gentle, slightly moving your lips to fit with mine like two puzzle pieces. Very unlikely of you. This innocence that you’d shown me that night. I had never seen you treat any other of your exes or current girlfriend like that. I felt special. I felt yours. It was enough and the song finally made sense now.

“There’s a million reasons why I should give you up, but the heart wants what it wants.”

PS: This is an original piece written by myself. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I am not missing you anymore.