Ok, so it's been like... what? 5 minutes since my last post? I'm already screaming and running in circles in my room and I'm too scared I'm gonna wake up someone soon. I'm not sure I want this anymore. All this love, all of these butterflies and the redness in my cheeks, just take it back. Take it all back! I don't want this! I don't think I'm gonna be able to act like a functional 20 years old woman. I feel like a teenager in love and I don't want to be like that around you. That's not how I want you to see me. I'm all grown up and trying to act mature here, but then Cupid decides it's time to strike me with his fucking heart arrows and bam! He turns me into a child once again. Fuck you, Cupid!
I'm so excited and we all know that's showing especially when I'm choosing to write in English, instead of Romanian. Oh my God! I am so restless right now. My hands are shaking and I'm smiling and frowning at the same time and I'm singing ABBA's songs and I feel like yelling and swearing and... Fuck. If my idols said it should be "and", not "end", I am certain I want the other version. Gimme "end"! No more "and"s! Stop! Please...
Oh, don't misunderstand. This isn't sadness and definitely not disappointment. I'm enjoying so much the fact that I'm falling for someone once more that I don't know what to do right now. I am happy, cheerful, but scared and annoyed at the same time. There are too many things running through my head and I can't stop them (especially the fantasies and the scenarios). I'm all over the place. I'm a mess, but oh! I find myself more beautiful than ever, because my most attractive mess is the one that happens when I'm in love.
PS: I remember when I was falling for you. I liked and hated the way it felt. Same with you. Still do.
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